The Blonde One Was Called Freedom

Feel Good Mondays: Do You Ladies Have It Together?

I just read this Ask Men list of signs you know you’ve got your sh*t together and I was laughing pretty hard.

But what was even better to me was thinking of signs women know they have their shit together. So here we go: 20 signs that you can feel confident you’re doing all right in life(Note: This list is not a real life guide. Do not take me seriously. Try not to get offended if you don’t do one of these things, because I barely do half.).

1. People ask you when your plan for having children.

You want me to have a baby?!? Here’s my f*ckin’ BABY!

Whereas men being asked to babysit is a mark of maturity, women are trusted with this since by about age 12. When people start asking you about your procreation timeline it means you publicly appear responsible enough to pop one out. ESPECIALLY if you’re asked that as a single lady.

2. You have kept your favorite pair of sexy heels for over a year without damaging them.

Sometimes you just don’t care, but overall you should love them like a pet.

I admit it’s difficult to keep a pair of sunglasses for over a year, but having a favorite pair of heels and keeping them ding/scuff/scratch-free? That’s real talent.

3. When you invite people over you don’t have to do a whirlwind cleaning session first.

A mature lady can invite friends or  family to her home on the spot because her home should always look relatively tidy.

4. You buy a new toothbrush every three months.

Oral hygiene is important!!

Clean towels weekly is something I’ve been doing since college, so I think buying a new toothbrush in a timely manner is much more important.

5. You actually have an idea of what to buy people for presents.

Gift cards, scarves, silly books, and other impersonal crap is not what you solely rely on for gifts.

6. You always keep an extra phone charger around.

Charging your phone daily is something all people my age seem to do. But phone batteries seem to dry up quickly, so keeping a spare charger around you is a sign of a well-prepared chica.

7. You have ingredients at home to make at least 2 real meals.

No one is saying it has to be a culinary masterpiece…

Men can pride themselves on owning vegetables, but a girl who’s got her sh*t together should be able to open her fridge and cabinets and prepare a meal on the spot. A cucumber with ranch dressing doesn’t count.

8. You always have tampons/pads/feminine hygiene products on hand.

You never know when you’ll need them

Buying toilet paper in bulk doesn’t make me feel proud. But never running low on this supply just shows real lack of organization. On a tangent, these are the few supplies for which I find ridiculous to be paying.

9. You never run out of birth control.

Honestly, get it together. If you’re on any kind of prescription (that you NEED) you should have that shit restocked before the last refill is empty.

10. You keep in touch with at least 2 groups of friends.

Don’t be that weirdo alone and drunk at the bar.

I think every girl has a friend that they’ve had for a significant amount of time, because most girls don’t get into fist fights when they’re drunk AND sisters count as friends. But if you can stay in contact with a couple groups of friends of any kind that would be great for you.

11. The majority of your clothing purchases are not to go out drinking, dancing, etc.

“Ready to go to grandma’s house?”

Day-to-night clothes are great, but if you’re always coming home from the mall with clothes that you wouldn’t wear in front of your mom, dad, aunt, etc. you’re not quite into adulthood yet.

12. You have multiple sets of sheets – at least one of them looks/feels fancy

I love these new sheets!!

I’m not going to go saying they should be high-count thread Egyptian, buuuut….

13. When friends/guests come over you can feed them more than just $6 bottle white wine and light beer.

“Look ma, look! I bought a red!!”

You don’t need an entire room full of booze, but if your parents want a red wine with dinner it would look mighty mature of you to have it. I mean, there’s a reason all the hot guys in the movies can make a signature drink for the girl they bring back to their apartment. Looks good.

14. You don’t need to devote your Sunday to hangover recovery on a regular basis.

Drinking to the point of hangover should be happening on accident more often than not. So you shouldn’t need every Sunday removed from your calendar.

15. You do some sort of activity that you enjoy (not including lounging).

So much

God I visit Pinterest a lot. But you should have something other than work, socializing, and vegging at home to fill your life. A lot of chicks knit. Some exercise. Others paint. Do something for yourself.

16. Starbucks is not your daily go-to breakfast. And lunch. And snack. And at-home brew. And decor.

facebook, instagram, twitter, tumblr profile pic xoxo Starbucks xoxo

Out of the 317 million people living in America, probably 316.99999 million people visit Starbucks. But if someone had to describe you, a coffee brand shouldn’t be a defining factor of your identity. Unless you’re 16 and think you’re really cool for drinking coffee or if you work there and get sweet discounts.

17. You have or had your own workspace.

Not everyone needs business cards, and not everyone gets an office. But it says a lot about you if you’ve attained a position in a company where you have your own space, be it a cube, a desk, or a mailbox.

18. You can’t remember the last time you intentionally sunburned yourself.

Base tan: established.

It’s 2014; we all know it contributes to skin cancer. Cut it out.

19. You know how to get a blood stain out of clothing/sew a button on/fix a rickety shelf

Nicole Curtis is my hero.

When you hit a certain point in life you will need to acquire some life skills. Fixing little things around the home is going to come in handy.

20. You don’t need Facebook to remind you of someone’s birthday.

Facebook birthday wishes: about as non-committal as it gets

If you care, remember the flippin’ day. Don’t forget your close friends, nieces, nephews, cousins, parents, or even bosses. It shows a lot when you do a bit more than a Timeline post to say “Happy Bday!”

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This entry was published on March 3, 2014 at 2:00 pm. It’s filed under Feel Good Mondays, Life, Movies, Open-Minded and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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